Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
