Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize