the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize