did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
