3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
