It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
