I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
