Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Do vagina's smell?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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