Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Are my feet made of real feet?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
be right there i have to get my cape
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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