Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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