How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
