youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm too high and old for this...
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
