whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
