I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
