Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
