I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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