i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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