So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
