You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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