i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
