The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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