Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
