Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Randomize
