I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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