dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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