This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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