There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize