trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
