so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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