what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
