Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
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