don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
