My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Duck Duck Cougar?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
try to milk me bitch
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
