if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
