i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
