i'm lost and i look like a hooker
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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