Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
