I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
PANTIES FOUND
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
