If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize