Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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