if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Randomize
