It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
