Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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