I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
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