I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
