Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
