Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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