I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
