I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Randomize
