I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
