I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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