we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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