I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize