you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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