I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
