i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
