Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
