D3 body, D1 cock
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
