Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
