just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
