TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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