i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
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